When I told my parents I wanted to go to med school and be a doctor, my mom said that I’m going to be giving up things like relationships and family for a while, and I knew she was right but I didn’t really care about that until now, and it’s definitely starting to happen. It’s really hard sitting home weekends doing work while everyone is out doing things hanging out together and then when I hang around I feel out of place I have no idea what anyone is every talking about, laughing about or referencing to or anything, and I feel a huge disconnect. It really, really sucks…:(
Typical…
As usual lying in bed can’t sleep because of this vicious cycle..stressed because I have so much studying to do, 4 orgo lab assignments that supposedly take two hours each not to mention post and pre labs, and even more because the later I stay up the less sleep I get considering I work at 7a, the more tired ill be tomorrow the less efficient ill be, and it’s just like I’m running around in circles.
I don’t even care about having a social life or going out, I just want to be able to do my work and do well, I want to have time to go running but I can’t because running showering etc is 2 hrs of study time gone, and with work at 6 or 7a almost daily if I don’t go to sleep at a “decent” time so I get at least 5 hrs, the next day will be ruined because I can’t function without sleep.
All of this and I still have soooo much work to do for my literature search for my thesis…I haven’t even started and I have 10+ papers I need to read and outline in detail, and that’s just the begging.
I can’t quit my job, I can’t drop my classes, and I don’t want to give up the amazing opportunity to work under Dr.B and do my thesis, which will help me get into Med school. I already spend almost every day doing work I don’t know what else I can do…:(
I hate when people take their free time for granted, I’m lucky if I can relax for a few hours and it’s a Fucking miracle if I don’t beat myself up for not doing work during my relaxing time which is never relaxing bc I’m.constantly thinking about what I should be doing.
Med school will be harder but at least ill be there, at this point I don’t even know if ill ever get there…
I want to be able to do all my work and exercise so I don’t have to hate myself apparently that’s just impossible…..
Oh great 2am, I’ve gotta get up in 4 hours and have a full day of work, class, and studying. And so it goes…
